My life,

is not the way I want it to be.
This school year has just been the toughest for me.
Like, what happened earlier with me, almost losing a friend just a week ago, and now it's my familly.
Sometimes, I really hope that something good will happen that will make me happy.
With no doubts whatsoever.
In the past years, something good comes along, that makes me happy.
But, it brings me lots and lots of doubt. Especially what was going on in the summer.
I knew what was going on, but I was too afraid to ask. Like, I'd get a lie out of that one person.
And after hearing all that has been going on, and realizing that it was a lie, still hurts me.
I hate it when the closest people to me, completely hide something from me that crushed me for months.
Everytime something good comes a long, it turns out to be terrible and depressing.
The facade crumbles. I don't want to hide what I am feeling anymore.
And my feelings are confusing all the time.

But, I am okay now. I just wish something would come along. In my whoooole life, something always goes wrong. Never in my life there was one moment where everything is okay.
Even thought it felt like it was okay and happy, it really wasn't when you really look at reality.
Life, just isn't fair. Especially mine. I get the short end of the stick.
I always listen to people about their happy lives. Like, I'm okay now.
I just wanna be that happy. And, I hate what I have to do to make others happy.
But I do it for them.
I just really really want to be happy. .___.
"And I'm tired, of being all alone. And this solitary moment makes me want to come back home."
Is that too much to ask for?