Some of mine are:
Get higher grades than I do now.
Keep my room cleaner.
Be more organized with my plans.
Get involved in more activities.
Be happy.
Have no or less drama.
And eat healthier. :)
What are yours?
Well, this is my last post of 2009. Woaaaah. Isn't that sad?
I remember last year watching the countdown, and I absolutely hated watching Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas in New York. I was sad. D:
But Joe was a jerk lol. Yesterday, I looked at pictures of his new hair.
I was like WTF?! D: And now Kevin is married.
It seems like yesterday they were all young. .___.
Here is my summary of 2009.
It started as normal.
Then it got amaaazing.
Then confusing.
Then depressing.
And now, it's better.
It's a good way to end the year.
I say that the depressing part has helped me.
Through that, I met a lot of new friends that I have now.
And I thank each and everyone of them. Or, I'd still be confused and depressed.
2009 has helped me live and learn.
And I hope 2010 is more awesome.
NO MORE DOUBLE ZEROS! D: hahaha. :)
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
My life,
is not the way I want it to be.
This school year has just been the toughest for me.
Like, what happened earlier with me, almost losing a friend just a week ago, and now it's my familly.
Sometimes, I really hope that something good will happen that will make me happy.
With no doubts whatsoever.
In the past years, something good comes along, that makes me happy.
But, it brings me lots and lots of doubt. Especially what was going on in the summer.
I knew what was going on, but I was too afraid to ask. Like, I'd get a lie out of that one person.
And after hearing all that has been going on, and realizing that it was a lie, still hurts me.
I hate it when the closest people to me, completely hide something from me that crushed me for months.
Everytime something good comes a long, it turns out to be terrible and depressing.
The facade crumbles. I don't want to hide what I am feeling anymore.
And my feelings are confusing all the time.
But, I am okay now. I just wish something would come along. In my whoooole life, something always goes wrong. Never in my life there was one moment where everything is okay.
Even thought it felt like it was okay and happy, it really wasn't when you really look at reality.
Life, just isn't fair. Especially mine. I get the short end of the stick.
I always listen to people about their happy lives. Like, I'm okay now.
I just wanna be that happy. And, I hate what I have to do to make others happy.
But I do it for them.
I just really really want to be happy. .___.
"And I'm tired, of being all alone. And this solitary moment makes me want to come back home."
Is that too much to ask for?
This school year has just been the toughest for me.
Like, what happened earlier with me, almost losing a friend just a week ago, and now it's my familly.
Sometimes, I really hope that something good will happen that will make me happy.
With no doubts whatsoever.
In the past years, something good comes along, that makes me happy.
But, it brings me lots and lots of doubt. Especially what was going on in the summer.
I knew what was going on, but I was too afraid to ask. Like, I'd get a lie out of that one person.
And after hearing all that has been going on, and realizing that it was a lie, still hurts me.
I hate it when the closest people to me, completely hide something from me that crushed me for months.
Everytime something good comes a long, it turns out to be terrible and depressing.
The facade crumbles. I don't want to hide what I am feeling anymore.
And my feelings are confusing all the time.
But, I am okay now. I just wish something would come along. In my whoooole life, something always goes wrong. Never in my life there was one moment where everything is okay.
Even thought it felt like it was okay and happy, it really wasn't when you really look at reality.
Life, just isn't fair. Especially mine. I get the short end of the stick.
I always listen to people about their happy lives. Like, I'm okay now.
I just wanna be that happy. And, I hate what I have to do to make others happy.
But I do it for them.
I just really really want to be happy. .___.
"And I'm tired, of being all alone. And this solitary moment makes me want to come back home."
Is that too much to ask for?
Monday, December 14, 2009
All that I have to say is:
Stuff has happened.
It was baaaaad.
I really can't tell you what happened.
Or other things could happen and arise.
I need a break.
We need to relax. Seriously.
Katelyn doesn't need to get hurt again. D:
My last post was sad, and sorta harsh. But
that problem is fixed.
But then some don't understand and I'm like UGHHHH.
Christmas break is almost here and
I need to focus on my grades. :S
Oh Phyll, I wish you had yer phone back. .___.
It was baaaaad.
I really can't tell you what happened.
Or other things could happen and arise.
I need a break.
We need to relax. Seriously.
Katelyn doesn't need to get hurt again. D:
My last post was sad, and sorta harsh. But
that problem is fixed.
But then some don't understand and I'm like UGHHHH.
Christmas break is almost here and
I need to focus on my grades. :S
Oh Phyll, I wish you had yer phone back. .___.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I need to blog.
Dear you,
As of right now, I am very upset, and crying.
Out of nowhere, you hurt me even more than you already had.
You're building much stress on my shoulders, and you don't even care.
I can't take it anymore. I am done.
Okay? Happy?
Is this what you wanted?
To be happy with a person you don't even know and hurt your friends that are here.
To hurt someone even more, even though you don't even mean it?
You can't change the world. And you can't change what has happened.
Well, good job. You just hurt someone. Again.
Leave me alone. You don't know me anymore.
I'm only stating my opinion for what I believe is right for my friend because they asked me for it.
Don't blame this all on ME and my best bud, okay?
As of right now, I am very upset, and crying.
Out of nowhere, you hurt me even more than you already had.
You're building much stress on my shoulders, and you don't even care.
I can't take it anymore. I am done.
Okay? Happy?
Is this what you wanted?
To be happy with a person you don't even know and hurt your friends that are here.
To hurt someone even more, even though you don't even mean it?
You can't change the world. And you can't change what has happened.
Well, good job. You just hurt someone. Again.
Leave me alone. You don't know me anymore.
I'm only stating my opinion for what I believe is right for my friend because they asked me for it.
Don't blame this all on ME and my best bud, okay?
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
3 snow days in a row.
So. These past days have been quite..weird.
It was the first time in years that Nebraska has been hit hard in a blizzard like this year's.
I loove it though. It's awesome.
I'm finally ungrounded. FOR GOOD.
YAAAAAAY! And I'm being serious now.
I just got ungrounded 30 minutes ago, I'm going to get my phone back when I get a phone card because mine is pre-paid. So, I'll be texting again soon. :)
Yesterday I finally got out of the house. I went to Phyll's with Heather there to make a snowman. But, instead we didn't and watched Harry Potter. But the funny thing is we weren't even watching the movie. We were like, in deep conversation. With Phyll's mom. We talked about Mitchell and Heather. I don't really know much about it, but now I know about it. I get it. And I don't think that it's fair on some 'circumstances', but somewhat you gotta obey the parents. And Heather's a really great girl, and I hope she gets to be happy with him someday again. :)
Then we talked about religion, found out that I had no school today. I jumped up and screamed in excitement because I wanted to stay over at the Kunz's house with Heather and Phyll, but I couldn't. >____> But on the good side, there's sick people in the Kunz household. So, lucky me. :)
Thanks for watching out for me, Jesus. :)
My step-dad has food poisoning. What's gross is that the bathroom was right next to my bedroom, and..I woke up to the sound of him puking. D: So I got my mp3 out and blasted it this morning. What a lovely day to wake up to that. .__.
I hope I don't get sick. Really. 2 people has gotten the flu this week in my house. I don't like throwing up. It makes me cry, seriously. :(
And I'm stoked to get my hair dyed black. I don't know when. But, soon. :D I'll look like a REAL ASIAAAAAN. woasdfjaldkcawjoeiakljscmalkwefjcm.
And my life has been pretty happy now for the first time in 5 months. :)
Soo. Scoooore!
And my friend went down to Mexico for Christmas. She doesn't know if she's coming back. ):
And I told that one guy I didn't like him like that. I cried. Seriously. I felt soo bad. But, he took it okay. I explained it to him well, and he took it okay. So. My problems are ceasing. :) No worries.
Life is getting perfect. Again. I realize what I thought I needed is really what I don't need right now. You have no more worries, the weight is off your shoulders, and I'm...free.
I've been looking at the good things, and. It made me soo happy. Today is the start of a new year it seems like. Friends are important. I need to keep those friendships, I've lost so many these days. And I need to focus on my grades, future, and family. That's all I need. :)
I'm thankful for everyone that are in my life..and I know I wasn't here to say that I was thankful for anything on thanksgiving..because I was grounded. So happy late Thanksgiving! Bahaha.
So on my snow day, I was soo bored I finally decided to get on MSN. It was my middle school way of communicating, and I realized that I have a microphone attached to my laptop, so what was awesome was that my friends and I were in a 3-way chat, and we just made hilarious voice clips back and forth. It was AMAZING. It went on for like, 5 hours straight.
Anyways, this is getting WAAAAAY too long. So, I'm done nowww.
El fin. :)
It was the first time in years that Nebraska has been hit hard in a blizzard like this year's.
I loove it though. It's awesome.
I'm finally ungrounded. FOR GOOD.
YAAAAAAY! And I'm being serious now.
I just got ungrounded 30 minutes ago, I'm going to get my phone back when I get a phone card because mine is pre-paid. So, I'll be texting again soon. :)
Yesterday I finally got out of the house. I went to Phyll's with Heather there to make a snowman. But, instead we didn't and watched Harry Potter. But the funny thing is we weren't even watching the movie. We were like, in deep conversation. With Phyll's mom. We talked about Mitchell and Heather. I don't really know much about it, but now I know about it. I get it. And I don't think that it's fair on some 'circumstances', but somewhat you gotta obey the parents. And Heather's a really great girl, and I hope she gets to be happy with him someday again. :)
Then we talked about religion, found out that I had no school today. I jumped up and screamed in excitement because I wanted to stay over at the Kunz's house with Heather and Phyll, but I couldn't. >____> But on the good side, there's sick people in the Kunz household. So, lucky me. :)
Thanks for watching out for me, Jesus. :)
My step-dad has food poisoning. What's gross is that the bathroom was right next to my bedroom, and..I woke up to the sound of him puking. D: So I got my mp3 out and blasted it this morning. What a lovely day to wake up to that. .__.
I hope I don't get sick. Really. 2 people has gotten the flu this week in my house. I don't like throwing up. It makes me cry, seriously. :(
And I'm stoked to get my hair dyed black. I don't know when. But, soon. :D I'll look like a REAL ASIAAAAAN. woasdfjaldkcawjoeiakljscmalkwefjcm.
And my life has been pretty happy now for the first time in 5 months. :)
Soo. Scoooore!
And my friend went down to Mexico for Christmas. She doesn't know if she's coming back. ):
And I told that one guy I didn't like him like that. I cried. Seriously. I felt soo bad. But, he took it okay. I explained it to him well, and he took it okay. So. My problems are ceasing. :) No worries.
Life is getting perfect. Again. I realize what I thought I needed is really what I don't need right now. You have no more worries, the weight is off your shoulders, and I'm...free.
I've been looking at the good things, and. It made me soo happy. Today is the start of a new year it seems like. Friends are important. I need to keep those friendships, I've lost so many these days. And I need to focus on my grades, future, and family. That's all I need. :)
I'm thankful for everyone that are in my life..and I know I wasn't here to say that I was thankful for anything on thanksgiving..because I was grounded. So happy late Thanksgiving! Bahaha.
So on my snow day, I was soo bored I finally decided to get on MSN. It was my middle school way of communicating, and I realized that I have a microphone attached to my laptop, so what was awesome was that my friends and I were in a 3-way chat, and we just made hilarious voice clips back and forth. It was AMAZING. It went on for like, 5 hours straight.
Anyways, this is getting WAAAAAY too long. So, I'm done nowww.
El fin. :)
Monday, December 7, 2009
Soooo....
My life has been crazy like I said, and everyone else's life around me.
People are sad. When people are sad, Katelyn is not okay. Katelyn gets sad.
Like this -----> )':
But, when I look at my life, and compare mine to others, I'm like, WOW.
I'm pretty pathetic. x____x I should shut uuup when it comes to me. Baha.
But, that fact does help me to get over with my own problems. Which is now making me stronger at this moment, I'm getting over that 'something' in great progress. SAAYY WHAT?!
Ohhhh yeaah. I effin' raaaaaawk. :P
Selena,
I really wish I could do something to make everything better. Fo serious.
Right now I feel completely helpless because I have noo idea what to do and I am like, 1,000 miles away.
All that I can do, is just be there for you through sadness and the hard times. And pray. Lots and lots. ♥ Jesus loooves you! :D
Try not to focus on the bad things. I know it's hard, because I doing tried that before. And yet I still think of the bad things, no matter what. We can't help it at all. What I do, is I let all the grief out. Don't hold it in. That just makes it waaaay worse. Been there. D: My youth leader told me to let all the grief out. Although, it did take a while for me to be in the okay stage.
Try to be optimistic.
Look at the good in life of what you have now. Whatever else that makes brings you down, stay away from. Avoid those things. Try building yourself back up. There's always something out there that can hurt you even more on top of all of this. Be cautious. Anything can happen.
I will try my best with what I can do. Everything will be okay. It can't rain forever. The sun will shine through with a purttyyy rainbow. :)
I'm your sister, you help me, and I'll help you my dear. :)
___________________________
And, other random things. My friend came back from the mental hospital. It's upsetting. Even she's sad. And her ex LOVES me. O___O But. I'm not ready to be in a relationship again. Actually, I don't want to be. I'm nooooot dating him after what he's done to my friend honestly. Even what she's had done to bug the crap out of other people's religious opinions. It doesn't really seem to bother me. All that I know is my religion is my own, hers is hers, and she can't change it. No matter how much she can trash talk about it. But whatever. She's my friend. I don't like leaving people out in the cold. I probably wouldn't date this guy anyways.
Also I am quite disappointed with another friend. Soo many reasons, I don't know what I should say. When I see her, I don't even want to talk to her anymore. And in the inside I'm like AHHHHHHHHHHHH. I wanna RIP her hair out. x___x
I need to get ungrounded. And get my phone back. Seriously. I miss it. ):
And I need to stop procrastinating. Time for homework.
UGH. And for you, teenage life. You suuuck. I hate you. Stop hurting my friends and I. Or I'll have shoot you in the head. >_______>
People are sad. When people are sad, Katelyn is not okay. Katelyn gets sad.
Like this -----> )':
But, when I look at my life, and compare mine to others, I'm like, WOW.
I'm pretty pathetic. x____x I should shut uuup when it comes to me. Baha.
But, that fact does help me to get over with my own problems. Which is now making me stronger at this moment, I'm getting over that 'something' in great progress. SAAYY WHAT?!
Ohhhh yeaah. I effin' raaaaaawk. :P
Selena,
I really wish I could do something to make everything better. Fo serious.
Right now I feel completely helpless because I have noo idea what to do and I am like, 1,000 miles away.
All that I can do, is just be there for you through sadness and the hard times. And pray. Lots and lots. ♥ Jesus loooves you! :D
Try not to focus on the bad things. I know it's hard, because I doing tried that before. And yet I still think of the bad things, no matter what. We can't help it at all. What I do, is I let all the grief out. Don't hold it in. That just makes it waaaay worse. Been there. D: My youth leader told me to let all the grief out. Although, it did take a while for me to be in the okay stage.
Try to be optimistic.
Look at the good in life of what you have now. Whatever else that makes brings you down, stay away from. Avoid those things. Try building yourself back up. There's always something out there that can hurt you even more on top of all of this. Be cautious. Anything can happen.
I will try my best with what I can do. Everything will be okay. It can't rain forever. The sun will shine through with a purttyyy rainbow. :)
I'm your sister, you help me, and I'll help you my dear. :)
___________________________
And, other random things. My friend came back from the mental hospital. It's upsetting. Even she's sad. And her ex LOVES me. O___O But. I'm not ready to be in a relationship again. Actually, I don't want to be. I'm nooooot dating him after what he's done to my friend honestly. Even what she's had done to bug the crap out of other people's religious opinions. It doesn't really seem to bother me. All that I know is my religion is my own, hers is hers, and she can't change it. No matter how much she can trash talk about it. But whatever. She's my friend. I don't like leaving people out in the cold. I probably wouldn't date this guy anyways.
Also I am quite disappointed with another friend. Soo many reasons, I don't know what I should say. When I see her, I don't even want to talk to her anymore. And in the inside I'm like AHHHHHHHHHHHH. I wanna RIP her hair out. x___x
I need to get ungrounded. And get my phone back. Seriously. I miss it. ):
And I need to stop procrastinating. Time for homework.
UGH. And for you, teenage life. You suuuck. I hate you. Stop hurting my friends and I. Or I'll have shoot you in the head. >_______>
Friday, December 4, 2009
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaayz.
Phyll. :)
I'll ask my mommy todaaaaaay after school.
I'll say it's for church and we're going to celebrate holy day! And it's a huuuuuuuuge thing.
So. She just might say yes I think. :D
I'll ask my mommy todaaaaaay after school.
I'll say it's for church and we're going to celebrate holy day! And it's a huuuuuuuuge thing.
So. She just might say yes I think. :D
Thursday, December 3, 2009
O___o
Dear Selena,
I just have to say that I am now okay with that boy. And I am for sure that I am moving on from him. Well, you know why. D: You're getting full details on this on facebook dear. :P
The world. Is crazy. You'd never know what will happen next. Things change, bad to good. And right now, I guess good has happened to me. It's a shocker. But I'd have to say. This one person I told you about Selena, is making me very happy at the moment.
And I agree with you. Everyone needs to be friends and get along. And be happy and make some nommity nom nom cookies! :) Riiiiiight?
I love you Selena. And I loves Phyll too. :)
And I still haven't asked my mom to go to the church, Phyll. I'm scared. D: And I didn't get grounded because you took me home last night lol :P
I just have to say that I am now okay with that boy. And I am for sure that I am moving on from him. Well, you know why. D: You're getting full details on this on facebook dear. :P
The world. Is crazy. You'd never know what will happen next. Things change, bad to good. And right now, I guess good has happened to me. It's a shocker. But I'd have to say. This one person I told you about Selena, is making me very happy at the moment.
And I agree with you. Everyone needs to be friends and get along. And be happy and make some nommity nom nom cookies! :) Riiiiiight?
I love you Selena. And I loves Phyll too. :)
And I still haven't asked my mom to go to the church, Phyll. I'm scared. D: And I didn't get grounded because you took me home last night lol :P
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Why does everyone leave? :(
In my life. Why. ): It's either some of them just walk out of my life soooo easily.
As if I meant nothing. Do you know how that feels?
Or some of them move or have to leave for a while.
It all started at the beginning of this year.
I lost a friend, because they were upset that I dated this boy.
They knew that he wasn't a good person to date. Especially with all the girls he liked and moved on previously before me. I was too selfish. And I wanted to be in a relationship with that person. So bad. I followed my heart and, I lost her. And I tried to make everything work out. But nothing ever did.
Now, look what happens. That boy has been lying to me, and hid many secrets.
That's not the way he is. It upsets me because..everything is different. He is different. My friends were right. They were yelling at me that he would hurt me and leave. And they wouldn't be there to make me feel better. :/ Ouch. That's harsh.
Why can't it be easier? Seriously. He has it waaaaaay easier. And he's being happy and everything. I don't think I deserve all of this...what did I do wrong? I don't understand.
I never had a chance. I guess everything, was fake. i didn't get a chance for something real. Because I was the girl who is left out in the cold.
Now. It's like. Should I be friends? Or not. Because..the friendship previously was awesome. Brother and sister-like. And I'm not the type of girl who can let go in a blink of an eye. It's too painful and I don't see how I can even let go. Part of me tells me I should, but the other is like no.
No one can help me with this part. And, it's the most difficult.
2 friends lost...
The others had to leave, or move. 3 of them.
And all 5 of them were all close to my heart.
But the one that hurts me the most is the one I mostly wrote about.
Is it okay to want something back?
....
No. I guess. :/
As if I meant nothing. Do you know how that feels?
Or some of them move or have to leave for a while.
It all started at the beginning of this year.
I lost a friend, because they were upset that I dated this boy.
They knew that he wasn't a good person to date. Especially with all the girls he liked and moved on previously before me. I was too selfish. And I wanted to be in a relationship with that person. So bad. I followed my heart and, I lost her. And I tried to make everything work out. But nothing ever did.
Now, look what happens. That boy has been lying to me, and hid many secrets.
That's not the way he is. It upsets me because..everything is different. He is different. My friends were right. They were yelling at me that he would hurt me and leave. And they wouldn't be there to make me feel better. :/ Ouch. That's harsh.
Why can't it be easier? Seriously. He has it waaaaaay easier. And he's being happy and everything. I don't think I deserve all of this...what did I do wrong? I don't understand.
I never had a chance. I guess everything, was fake. i didn't get a chance for something real. Because I was the girl who is left out in the cold.
Now. It's like. Should I be friends? Or not. Because..the friendship previously was awesome. Brother and sister-like. And I'm not the type of girl who can let go in a blink of an eye. It's too painful and I don't see how I can even let go. Part of me tells me I should, but the other is like no.
No one can help me with this part. And, it's the most difficult.
2 friends lost...
The others had to leave, or move. 3 of them.
And all 5 of them were all close to my heart.
But the one that hurts me the most is the one I mostly wrote about.
Is it okay to want something back?
....
No. I guess. :/
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